Teaching Materials - Lesson - The China Seminar

THE CHINA SEMINAR

WOMAN'S ISSUE AND HUMAN RIGHTS IN CHINA
C. Anderson-Huang
CCF 9604 (Wednesday, January 31, 1996)

The Shanghai Orphanage, Wei JingSheng, Harry Wu and such issues have been on the news recently. While I could see why they are controversial and where people's viewpoints are coming from. I often feel uneasy about that people's different backgrounds and such put their arguments into different priorities, even though they may agree on the same facts and grounds.

The thing I feel most uneasy about is the fact that some of our readers and writers do not necessarily understand the basic human-rights issue due to their cultural background. I am disappointed that some people simply sweep it aside and put all their efforts on less important issues to argue and dispute. Some people treat human rights problems in China as "the family dirty secret not to go out in public". Some claim that the issues are due to cultural reasons and better to leave them alone. The ones who are in the spotlight for raising these issues are made traitors with their ugly purposes. Then let us ask, is it more a problem to produce and allow the existence of these problems, or should the people who dare to expose them carry a larger blame? How sad is our blind patriotism?!

To me, I am glad that all of us can speak freely here in the USA, though I do think that sometimes some people have abused the freedom of speech by using the freedom of speech.

In my view, all these issues mentioned are related to human rights. Human rights should be given and respected to any human on this earth. While people went to great difficulties to expose these problems in China, they came to overseas. That is how they become "the traitors".

However, I feel that any human-rights issues will be hard to solve until women get enough respect from men, who as a group are still the dominant factor in Chinese society. In my opinion, we cannot hope our Chinese fellows to respect of the human rights of a smaller portion of political dissidents or some deserted orphans, if many Chinese men do not even have a basic respect for women. These human-rights violations are not just the fault of the government; they are also due to our culture, which has less respect for individual rights, especially for women and children. I do not agree when I hear someone righteously argue why this or that minority does not deserve their rights. Especially, I am bothered by our male-dominated society for keeping quiet on the issues for women, along with their human rights.

In this article, I want to expose a few aspects in this regard on how women are discriminated and put down by men through my own experience.

I do not appreciate our culture of Confucianism in the way many of you may do. Despite the fact that there IS a lot of wisdom in the deep culture that I grew within, I have been a victim of it from my birth. The reason is simply, I am a woman. Confucius said: "Only women and 'XiaoRen' are difficult to deal with." I am sure that most of our male readers know this sentence and benefited from it on the sacrifice of women's interests, even though they may not realize it or publicly acknowledge it.

I am writing this article because I want you to give more attention on this matter. When I am taking about some bad experience I had from being a female in China, I only remember the "get used to it" attitudes from our Chinese fellows. I cannot tolerate this ignorance again and again. When I am talking to Americans, I do receive some attention. Does this really merit being called a "traitor" for bashing our Chinese' own face?

I know my "allegation" will cause great outrage and dispute from some of our "innocent" readers. The worst of all is these people will consider themselves as unrelated despite the fact they are members of that same community. In my opinion, no one should stand by and let it happen. I must speak of the truth and experience I had to prove it. I also understand my harsh words may hurt our male readers' feeling. Yet, I must say, I would like you MANkind to give some rational thinking and try to put yourself into my shoes -- as a woman.

I love my homeland and wish it and its people well. But it does not stop my pain of the way I was and am treated, as a woman there. (Yes, I am glad that I am here in America and away from the annoyance and pain I had there, like many other Asian women.) Here are some of my experiences.

I was born the second daughter of my parents. When the news first arrived to my father, it was my grandmother's sigh to my father: "Oh, another girl!" The sky got dark at that moment.

My father really wanted to have a son. Otherwise, he would not be entitled to get any inheritance from the family estate, nor could his name be continued on the hundreds year old family book. Naturally, girls names did not go in the family book, nor was it necessary for my name to follow the lettering our ancestors determined for us a long time ago.

My father does very good calligraphy, like all his ancestors did as the intellectual family of the area. When I had demonstrated my reading and calculating ability at the second grade level before I even entered the elementary school, he sighed, "Too bad that you are not a boy. Otherwise, I'll teach you everything I know." He repeated that many times until the day I left China for America. Evidently, it was the exact words my grandfather told my second aunt, who was considered to be the brightest child among all the eight siblings.

Despite communist slogans (that was the "iron girls" and "half sky" era), I was clearly taught how cheap a girl's life is at few years of age. Across the beautiful city moat from our home was the provincial hospital. Now and then when I was wandering around that river park, I would see abandoned babies. I soon learned that they were unwanted girls and handicapped boys. No healthy boy could be found when our neighbor couple tried to adopt a child.

I remember walking through the park one summer evening at the age of eleven and seeing something still on the roadside. Being so nearsighted that I had not seen blackboards for more than a year despite sitting in the front row I had a VERY CLOSE look at that thing. It was a decomposed baby with worms all over. That night, I pictured myself being that baby and did not dare to sleep in the nights for the following month.

As a child, whenever I felt uneasy about my parents giving most of their attention and resources on my younger brother, I had to feel lucky. My father told me that there were no girls around my age at the villages he visited. The parents had to "get rid" of them to save the boys during the three years starvation period. How could it happen? "Just throw them into the toilet." Should not I feel lucky to be born in the city?

I witnessed the result when I visited the village where my sister was re-educated. The young men were afraid to get bald. If they got bald, they would immediately be the defeated candidate for the very few girls available there. There were various bizarre tales about how these single men met their sexual needs. Many of them violated the general ethic code of our human culture. (Naturally, the city girls immediately became hot hunting items as soon as they arrived.)

One of my childhood duties was to stay in fine in the market almost every other day. Now and then, I had to deal with the situation of some man behind me doing what he wanted sexually. Even nowadays, I keep one yard away from the line when I am waiting in line, despite that it often makes others confused.

When I was thirteen, I took a boat for the first time. When I walked around the deck, a sailor suddenly grabbed my braid by one hand. His other hand fondled my face and then he kissed me. I screamed. "What a cute face. Too bad it is daytime." He said and let me go. I stayed with my father and never dared to leave another yard away for the second day. Surely there were many similar accounts like that during my grown up time.

During my middle-school years, despite good grades, I was poorly treated by my teachers because of my "black" family background. However, one teacher made me very thankful because he liked me and treated me well. He would tell me that I was the most intelligent girl he had ever seen and came to defend me when I was beaten up by the classmates for refusing gave the exam answers to them. He would tell me that I was the prettiest girl in the school after he heard the girls laughing at my unsuccessfully mended old clothes and broken shoes. However, it was, only later that I found out that he loved to take sexual advantages on girls, just about all the pretty girls in the class.

My low self esteem was eased off a little after I entered University of Science and Technology of China without completing my high school. Despite that girls made up only 10% in the Department of Modem Physics, I thought that I was finally treated equally disregarding my sex. It was not true. I was not offered the job I was interested in when I entered the Institute of Atomic Energy. The person in charge replied to my face: "You are a woman. You are going to bring a lot of inconvenience to us." When I tried to convince him by presenting my merits, he told me: "Neither the grade, nor the ability could be counted on this matter."

I am much more relieved to be here in America, despite the fact that America is not a perfect equal society either, but at least non-discrimination is written in the law and the law is in a much better shape to be carried out. In my own encounters, American men do ask first. They also stopped immediately when I asked them so. The only one bad experience I had was with the eye doctor for my contact lens. It happened in such an ambiguous way that one could hardly charge him anything. He told me how much he had been attracted to Chinese girls when he was stationed in Hong Kong. Maybe that is where he picked up his hooligan style.

My most unpleasant experiences in the USA were involved with our very own well-educated Chinese (both have Ph.D. degrees). One event happened in my apartment with an acquaintance. When I refused, the person said: "Why not? My wife has several boy friends. I do not mind." He forgot to ask me if I minded or not.

The other event happened in my co-worker's office who already had a live-in girlfriend. He pushed me to the floor while I was unprepared. Fortunately, I did have strong arms to stop him. Later, a similar thing happened again while we were doing lab research together in the dark. I had to tell my advisor that I could not work in the lab without giving him the reason. Why? I thought it would make our Chinese lose our face. (By the way, in the lab, he tried to cover my mouth by saying: "What a bad impression you are giving to the Americans.") I had never talked to him since then, despite my Christian friend's suggestion of forgiveness and reconciliation.
During the past decade, I have traveled alone to many different parts of the world, and have met people who came from many different origins and cultures. I also enjoyed strange males' companionship (fewer lonely females on the road) to accomplish parts of my journeys. However, it could only be enjoyable on mutual respect and mutual agreement. Till today, I do not understand the mental state of males who try to take unwelcome physical advantages on females.

I have seen enthusiastic American men. I have seen persistent Arabic men. I have seen flirtatious Mediterranean men. I have seen romantic French men. I have seen distanced Japanese men. I have seen many nice and wonderful Chinese men. Yet, my favorite kind is the exotic kind Scandinavian men, which I am fortunate enough to have half of in my husband (the other half is French). Unfortunately, most of the bad experiences happened in China. They are enough to make me resent the cultural root of this sexual discrimination, along with the people who are responsible for it. Within that atmosphere, it is the victim who feels ashamed and is condemned. And one barely hears these complaints because of the pressure received from this male dominated society. The heavy big hats were used to seal our mouths. And I will not be surprised that some readers' first reaction is to think that I was responsible for the unwanted attentions of others. People may even suggest that we often hear of spouse abuse sort of the things in America, especially after the O.J. trial. Yet, in this case, the women are partially responsible for making an unwise choice and decision.

I know that people will tell me that these kind of things happen everywhere. It is true. But I have encountered such a larger scale and higher frequency with such a degree of offense in China than the other countries I have been in. I recognize that the Chinese society has been improved over the years. Yet, it is not quite enough.

One of my Chinese friends once suggested to me that the fact that I look too young, am petite, and pretty with a friendly smile are all more than enough to put me in trouble. "It is like the Arabic men thinking that women with shorts are prostitutes," he proclaimed. Is it not that attitude that makes the victimized women able to do nothing but keep silent, with only themselves to blame?

Accompanied by these experiences, I am especially saddened by the fact that when things like that happened there is no public outcry to stop the wrong doings. In this aspect, I still remember how I almost got in a fight with a young and strong man when I was in China. He raised his fist above my head while I was trying to hold the door so some almost full-term pregnant woman could get on the bus. By the way, how often do you see people give up their seats for a pregnant woman or someone with a baby on a bus in China?

I am still having bad experiences when I return back to China. The tremendous economical development in China did not help to improve people's morals proportionally. I especially emphasize situations regarding a single female (or sometimes with her male American companions) being sexually assaulted by strangers. Here are a few examples.

In 1992 it was the first time I brought my husband back to China. With him nearby, I encountered a similar experience on the boat again. When I pushed the half drunk person away, he said: "You sleep with a foreigner and look down at your own Chinese?" I do not know what he had thought about his pride and glory for our dear homeland.

In 1993, I attended an exhibition for my company in Beijing. With my American colleague standing next to me, someone asked me if I ever got my chance to sleep with him (my American colleague) and how it would be. Fortunately, the question was asked in Chinese.

Last year, being a few months pregnant with two pieces of heavy luggage, I was fighting my way to visit my parents on a summer night. Again, there were men taking sexual advantage on me. Not one, not two, there were three separate encounters in the one train station! What can you do?!

Once, after both my sister and I received an insult on the bus by the same person, my sister jumped up and kicked the person so hard that I was worried that he may have a broken leg. It was then I suddenly learned the reason for some portion of the violence on the buses in China. My sister said: "That's the only way to teach them a lesson." I do not agree. I think that the men's world should recognize this situation and stop the "few mice feces that spoil the congee". Yet, I am always disappointed by the lack of effort and conscience from our Chinese community to realize and understand this problem.

As long as people are silent about women's issues, I could see why many people are silent or even defend what the government has done in regarding the prisoners, orphanage, and political dissidents. Despite that China is not a democratic society, which means that its government does not necessary represents its people, we also must recognize that this government is composed by some of its own people. Therefore, the government reflected its people.

I expect that, by now, there are a lot of men keeping quiet or trying to argue over what I have written (or even dispute my "bad character" if he has the chance to know that I do laugh like a devil and look like a witch). What makes me upset is that the people who do it seem to have no remorse. The people who did not do it seem blind and deaf. The people who are victimized are further victimized by shame and silence due to the Chinese culture. And the educated people (including the ones on CCF) talk about all the fancy and decent topics, except this one. Is it because this kind of problem seems trivial and worth nothing to talk about?

Here, I am sincerely asking you, please, please give some thoughts. With no intention to accuse all the men out there, I just want to speak of truth and wish your awareness on women's issues, along with the other human rights issues in China.

Yet, I have to admit that I am always saddened by the fact that our Chinese female community is used to being silent, to take what they were offered without daring to complain. Maybe they are ashamed of admitting abuse, not even think of speaking publicly. Maybe they got used to it and took it as the way life is. Maybe they always have their male protectors next to them. Maybe they are just plain much luckier than what I had to go through. A few of them may act like my sister, even though that is not the solution I believe in.

If half (well, less than half after the starvation years and many abandoned baby girls) of the population do not get the respect they deserve, how could we expect the communist government to respect the much fewer prisoners, orphans, and the even fewer political dissidents who are brave enough to speak out? Guys, do not let me say that you are no better than the dictators. Let us treat everyone as the way you would like to be treated. Let us respect them in the way they deserve, as all humans are entitled. Despite that we need time for both our government and our own citizens to learn and to act in a more civilized way, it is our duty to learn and to contribute for a faster progress.

Please, please give your conscience and improve this society!

Note 1: After this article was finished, my husband refreshed me of our encounter in Nanjing train station, which was one of the heavier experiences I intentionally excluded. While we were waiting in fine, three peasant looking young men in front of us looked at us first like zoo animals, just like many others. Then they all laughed. One of them asked me the question while using his hands to make a universally understandable sign: "What is his size?"

Note 2: 1 watched last night's "60 minutes" report on the Shanghai orphanage and I was really disappointed with the Chinese government official they interviewed. Without giving the possibility that such a thing might happen in individual cases and/or will be investigated, he simply jumped into an effort to discredit the messenger; not because the message was not true, but because "unauthorized secrets" were revealed. Why do I believe at least some of the details? Comparing with the case of the child who was tied up to the bed, my mother (and later her colleague of that time) always told me how I was tied up and unfed when I was in the hospital at age 2. Comparing with the case where the children were made to sit on the pot for hours, I still remember how my colleague cried for a whole day when she found out her baby was made to do so by the caretakers of the institute nursery.

[From: Ciping Anderson-Huang.